Retirement 

The Last Lap

Rob Tisdall

Retirement 

The Last Lap
JR Tisdall
Why another blog?
There are already 300 million of them
This retirement gig is going to take some thinking.   For a while, I have been concerned about filling in the season when the rain is continuous - nothing to do and all day to do it. No ‘purpose in retirement’ came to mind.   So, if in doubt, do an internet search and see what others are doing.  

After every combination that included the word ‘retirement’, I was no smarter.  More than 90% were financial and generally self-advertising.  Well, if I hadn’t figured this part out at my stage, I should be looking for a cardboard box to live in.  The remainder were about “finding one’s passion” (I think I have tried a few activities in the past 6 decades and can eliminate most of these), or “time to relax” (this whole life experience is going to end with an eternity of relaxation). 

I was searching for anything more practical, a cookbook, or bullet points or even a flow chart, then a choice and a follow-up of how it turned out.       

This is a journal of my solution: the high road and the low, things learned and unlearned and relearned, the good, the bad and the ain’t gonna happen.

Let’s see how it goes.  


This retirement gig is going to take some thinking.   For a while, I have been concerned about filling in the season when the rain is continuous - nothing
to do and all day to do it. No ‘purpose in retirement’ came to mind.   So, if in doubt, do an internet search and see what others are doing.  

After every combination that included the word ‘retirement’, I was no smarter.  More than 90% were financial and generally self-advertising.  Well, if I hadn’t figured this part out at my stage, I should be looking for a cardboard box to live in.  The remainder were about “finding one’s passion” (I think I have tried a few activities in the past 6 decades and can eliminate most of these), or “time to relax” (this whole life experience is going to end with an eternity of relaxation). 

I was searching for anything more practical, a cookbook, or bullet points or even a flow chart, then a choice and a follow-up of how it turned out.       

This is a journal of my solution: the high road and the low, things learned and unlearned and relearned, the good, the bad and the ain’t gonna happen.

Let’s see how it goes.  


By Rob Tisdall December 8, 2023
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By Rob Tisdall December 8, 2023
I must walk around with a scowl on my face because I am frequently asked if I am “Happy”. My understanding of happy is there is a lifetime happiness curve, U shaped, with the bottom at 50 yo and peaks at 23 and 69. But after 69 it doesn’t point straight down as there is an almost horizontal line on the right. Also, there is a genetic predisposition to happiness with 30 - 40% of a population finding it is easier to be happy. The rest is environmental influences such as traffic delays, winning the lottery and such. So happiness comes and goes daily but contentment levels out the highs of a birthday cake and the lows of a traffic ticket. So I gave some thought to a Contentment Index. I think this needs to be weighted because some points influence the others. 1. Financial. (50%) This is the big one; the foundation of successful retirement and all the points that follow. This subject is so important that most of the megabytes of retirement advice are about finances. Financial independence allows the individual the freedom to be in total control of what you want to do each day. Keep monitoring your finances and live within your means. 2. Health. (25%) A retiree should shift their focus from wealth to health; take up nutrition courses, cooking classes and such. Keep a regular schedule of physical activity and keep your annual physical appointments. 3. Social connections and new relationships (10%) The office camaraderie is gone and there will be a need to find others with similar interests. Accept that the social group will change every 5 years as people move on. 4. Where you live (5%) Will moving change your support system of friends and relatives? Is scaling back going to effect large family gatherings? 5. Brain stimulation. (5%) “Curiosity may have killed the cat, but a lack of curiosity kills the happy retiree”. 6. Adaptability. (5%) There are 3 stages in retirement: go-go , slow-go, and no-go. So …. how am I doing? 1. Financially I am doing well and only spend money on things with the potential of improving friendships. Floating in a large boat by yourself is not fun. 2. My health remains good but I still eat preserved foods, drink wine and participate in other assorted sins. I go to the gym at least every second day. 3. Socially, I am gravitating to younger, upbeat, and mentally stable friends. I am avoiding the grumbling, the narcissistic, and the irresponsible. I am saving myself time, because one strike and you’re ignored. There is someone who calls every week to make sure I am not dead and composting somewhere. This person is also a sounding board who makes sure that I stay fairly main stream in my thinking, as long as we avoid certain subjects. 4. Location. In my travels, have not found anywhere better … yet. 5. Stimulation: I am slowly progressing in learning the Russian language and find the treadmill an excellent place to do my homework; in spite of others in the gym wondering about this strange old guy talking to himself. I also have the wherewithal to try new experiences out of my comfort zone. 5. Adaptability. I am in the first stage. I do have plans but they are not rigid as I am working through the alternatives for the next 2 stages.  So, how am I doing? I’m deliriously content.
By Rob Tisdall September 28, 2023
My retirement date is now in the distant past and I have dealt with my post-party letdown. I now have new routines and a new identity and this works for me at present. I feel productive but am having a slight problem with procrastination because when you have all day to do it ….. I do get some degree of pleasure finishing the laundry - wash 22 minutes, dry 36 minutes, folding and putting away 10 business days - or raking the leaves - which way is the wind blowing today?. I now have enough free time to observe the subtle signs I am aging. Aging is not retirement. One is going to age either in an office or having fun; it will happen. 1. Nobody calls me Bro, Guy or any other term of familiarity. I am addressed as “Sir”. It is not a lack of respect but more that I am no longer a contender. At least I am not invisible. I was on a crowded airport bus and a 50 year old man signaled that I could have his seat. I just pointed to my hair color and then his and laughed. However, the first kid who offers to help me cross a street ….. 2. Several months ago I had a momentary flash of pleasure when I was asked for photo ID when buying wine. He just scanned my driver’s license and told me it was company policy that every alcohol sale has the customer’s ID scanned. Now I am noting if I get more than a brief glance after asking for my ID. 3. My friend group has really changed in the past 5 years as they moved to warmer climates or are spending most of their time monitoring grandchildren. Conversation has changed from party nights and big cars to social security changes, pensions and lots of medical talk. There is a reason for senior hour in the restaurants because we will have time to see all the grandchild pictures and we all have to be in bed by 9:30. Does this mean a totally new group with new grandchild stories every 5 years? 4. When I was about 60, I learned not to grunt when I got out of a chair but now I am getting all kinds of strange pains. I have learned that continual attention to changing posture and daily gym trips keeps them minimal. My hair is thinning in tandem with my skin and subcutaneous fat. Healing is taking longer, so I have accumulated enough scratches and bruises to look like I am being beaten and the family doctor always asks if I feel safe! I am ignoring the age spots and keratoses from a lifetime in the sun. 5. I used to be spontaneous but now activities require meticulous planning. Decades ago I spontaneously jumped on an airplane for a weekend special in London, but now I’m concerned about “how do you get from the airport in Prague to the hotel, how much should it cost and where do you find the ride”? 6. I am noting a vague sense of “survivor’s guilt”. I have arrived at this point in my timeline without too much mental or physical trauma and have complete emotional and financial security. I am noting the large numbers of those who are just as deserving but are not in a similar state. I am wondering about the how and why. 7. Now the good news. My medical numbers have always been in the good range, and I am developing nostalgia for french fries coated in greasy brown gravy or for a binge of eating sticky buns. The actuarial tables say I will not succumb to anything food related because there is not enough time for chronic changes to develop. There are also some cancer screenings that are no longer necessary for the same reason. A peculiar situation. I have no doubt there will be more foreboding perceptions to follow. …. drip by drip, but I am not going to age gracefully. It will be more like fearlessly.
By Rob Tisdall August 1, 2023
I paid my own way through university and the main reason I have no fond “alumnus” feelings for the experience was the genteel poverty. Not having enough money to experience the concerts, beer bashes and visiting the student union buildings that seem to give graduates the warm fuzzies. One of the English students in Moldova was having a major problem with confidence and didn’t think she could compete with the “big city” kids at university, especially in an IT program. So I suggested and pushed and cajoled, and then overpaid her for doing some translations for me. She’s got the fire in her belly and she graduated last month with great grades. I am now looking for a similar student to monetarily sponsor, but how do I determine if they have Fire in their Belly? This refers to someone’s drive or motivation to achieve success. It is not a passion, as this comes and goes. Fire in Your Belly doesn’t ebb or flow, it is a continuous striving. I decided on several screenings to find the proper candidate. 1. They have a history of drive from a very young age. It seems to be in the DNA part of their personality. I am going to ask about the first job they took for whatever the pay was as a child: cutting grass, shoveling snow, baby sitting. A reliable worker who did a good job. 2. They have something to prove to the world or want to show someone is wrong. They have been influenced by role models or groups important to them and they have a goal as an endpoint. I am going to ask who these influencers were and why they were important. 3. They have overcome real obstacles - life changing events such as loss of parents or major injuries. I am going to find out the details of how they adapted to these setbacks. Additionally: 1. They have a curiosity and really listen to different ideas, read voraciously and test their knowledge or beliefs. 2. They are creative and willing to try something different. They then accept the hard truth, face the reality of failure, and adapt. This is courage. 3. They have character and know the difference between right and wrong, even if nobody is watching. 4. They need to be competent with a large amount of common sense. They are not afraid to surround themselves with people who are smarter than they are and then listen to them and adapt. What about the late bloomers - those in their 30s who finally see the light of motivation? I don’t know as I am interested in the teenagers. Maybe I need a second fund?
By Rob Tisdall April 17, 2023
They are now measuring age by the number of years left to live. This makes sense because the life expectancy in this country has increased from 47 in the early 1900s to about 80 at present. In 1935, the minimum age for receiving full retirement benefits was 65 and yet the average life expectancy was 60.  Now there is 1/4 of your adult life left once you retire. As recently as the 1960s, it was expected that retirees’ health would decline in a straight line until all systems crashed. Today, medicine has granted the retirees a long period of good health with no limiting events thanks to pacemakers, joint replacements and such. The health line is now horizontal and straight with an abrupt, short term, fall at the end. Around five years after retirement, the average American has a 6 to 9% decline in mental health, a 5 to 6% increase in medical conditions, and a 5 to 16% increase in difficulties with daily activities from a combination of the above. This all seems to be from drastic lifestyle changes, not the retirement itself. The curse is the result of the transition from work to retirement, not the advancing years. The key to avoiding the above seems to be to ease into retirement to something and not retirement from something. So, how to do this properly? Slowly change the established routines to new routines or new habits. Phase back the work load and fill the time with other meaningful activities that you find productive and create a new sense of self-identity. Procrastination is not a routine. Replace the social contacts at the office with people from a different environment. An 85 year Harvard study found that the hours of working on all the problems of your job are better spent on keeping up social contacts - virtual or other social connections . Or you could get a pet that would depend on you . Use the new routine to maintain physical activity. Shift your focus from wealth to health. Go to the gym for the physical benefits as well as the social contacts. Continue the routine of regular meals on a regular schedule and don’t have breakfast at noon. If you have a relationship, involve them in the transition. There will be a new equilibrium in relationships; move-not move, travel-not travel, etc. The statistically highest divorce rate is between 50 and 64 years old and one third of these have been married more than 30 years. Use your skills, make your own hours, work part-time or volunteer but find a meaningful purpose. You are not retired; you are a consultant. Having a purpose is more important than all of the above bullet points. Regain your respect. One is not retired, but a consultant. Of course, you could always put the curse on hold and unretire.
By Rob Tisdall April 17, 2023
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By Rob Tisdall December 8, 2023
The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.
By Rob Tisdall December 8, 2023
I must walk around with a scowl on my face because I am frequently asked if I am “Happy”. My understanding of happy is there is a lifetime happiness curve, U shaped, with the bottom at 50 yo and peaks at 23 and 69. But after 69 it doesn’t point straight down as there is an almost horizontal line on the right. Also, there is a genetic predisposition to happiness with 30 - 40% of a population finding it is easier to be happy. The rest is environmental influences such as traffic delays, winning the lottery and such. So happiness comes and goes daily but contentment levels out the highs of a birthday cake and the lows of a traffic ticket. So I gave some thought to a Contentment Index. I think this needs to be weighted because some points influence the others. 1. Financial. (50%) This is the big one; the foundation of successful retirement and all the points that follow. This subject is so important that most of the megabytes of retirement advice are about finances. Financial independence allows the individual the freedom to be in total control of what you want to do each day. Keep monitoring your finances and live within your means. 2. Health. (25%) A retiree should shift their focus from wealth to health; take up nutrition courses, cooking classes and such. Keep a regular schedule of physical activity and keep your annual physical appointments. 3. Social connections and new relationships (10%) The office camaraderie is gone and there will be a need to find others with similar interests. Accept that the social group will change every 5 years as people move on. 4. Where you live (5%) Will moving change your support system of friends and relatives? Is scaling back going to effect large family gatherings? 5. Brain stimulation. (5%) “Curiosity may have killed the cat, but a lack of curiosity kills the happy retiree”. 6. Adaptability. (5%) There are 3 stages in retirement: go-go , slow-go, and no-go. So …. how am I doing? 1. Financially I am doing well and only spend money on things with the potential of improving friendships. Floating in a large boat by yourself is not fun. 2. My health remains good but I still eat preserved foods, drink wine and participate in other assorted sins. I go to the gym at least every second day. 3. Socially, I am gravitating to younger, upbeat, and mentally stable friends. I am avoiding the grumbling, the narcissistic, and the irresponsible. I am saving myself time, because one strike and you’re ignored. There is someone who calls every week to make sure I am not dead and composting somewhere. This person is also a sounding board who makes sure that I stay fairly main stream in my thinking, as long as we avoid certain subjects. 4. Location. In my travels, have not found anywhere better … yet. 5. Stimulation: I am slowly progressing in learning the Russian language and find the treadmill an excellent place to do my homework; in spite of others in the gym wondering about this strange old guy talking to himself. I also have the wherewithal to try new experiences out of my comfort zone. 5. Adaptability. I am in the first stage. I do have plans but they are not rigid as I am working through the alternatives for the next 2 stages.  So, how am I doing? I’m deliriously content.
By Rob Tisdall September 28, 2023
My retirement date is now in the distant past and I have dealt with my post-party letdown. I now have new routines and a new identity and this works for me at present. I feel productive but am having a slight problem with procrastination because when you have all day to do it ….. I do get some degree of pleasure finishing the laundry - wash 22 minutes, dry 36 minutes, folding and putting away 10 business days - or raking the leaves - which way is the wind blowing today?. I now have enough free time to observe the subtle signs I am aging. Aging is not retirement. One is going to age either in an office or having fun; it will happen. 1. Nobody calls me Bro, Guy or any other term of familiarity. I am addressed as “Sir”. It is not a lack of respect but more that I am no longer a contender. At least I am not invisible. I was on a crowded airport bus and a 50 year old man signaled that I could have his seat. I just pointed to my hair color and then his and laughed. However, the first kid who offers to help me cross a street ….. 2. Several months ago I had a momentary flash of pleasure when I was asked for photo ID when buying wine. He just scanned my driver’s license and told me it was company policy that every alcohol sale has the customer’s ID scanned. Now I am noting if I get more than a brief glance after asking for my ID. 3. My friend group has really changed in the past 5 years as they moved to warmer climates or are spending most of their time monitoring grandchildren. Conversation has changed from party nights and big cars to social security changes, pensions and lots of medical talk. There is a reason for senior hour in the restaurants because we will have time to see all the grandchild pictures and we all have to be in bed by 9:30. Does this mean a totally new group with new grandchild stories every 5 years? 4. When I was about 60, I learned not to grunt when I got out of a chair but now I am getting all kinds of strange pains. I have learned that continual attention to changing posture and daily gym trips keeps them minimal. My hair is thinning in tandem with my skin and subcutaneous fat. Healing is taking longer, so I have accumulated enough scratches and bruises to look like I am being beaten and the family doctor always asks if I feel safe! I am ignoring the age spots and keratoses from a lifetime in the sun. 5. I used to be spontaneous but now activities require meticulous planning. Decades ago I spontaneously jumped on an airplane for a weekend special in London, but now I’m concerned about “how do you get from the airport in Prague to the hotel, how much should it cost and where do you find the ride”? 6. I am noting a vague sense of “survivor’s guilt”. I have arrived at this point in my timeline without too much mental or physical trauma and have complete emotional and financial security. I am noting the large numbers of those who are just as deserving but are not in a similar state. I am wondering about the how and why. 7. Now the good news. My medical numbers have always been in the good range, and I am developing nostalgia for french fries coated in greasy brown gravy or for a binge of eating sticky buns. The actuarial tables say I will not succumb to anything food related because there is not enough time for chronic changes to develop. There are also some cancer screenings that are no longer necessary for the same reason. A peculiar situation. I have no doubt there will be more foreboding perceptions to follow. …. drip by drip, but I am not going to age gracefully. It will be more like fearlessly.
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